Lies, Affairs, and Yaoi
by RepublicanSouthPark
Summary: First of the revejump97 series. This is an edited version of a Quizilla story by some fangirl who couldn't write. Cartman and Bebe are dead. Wendy is fat. Stan and Kyle love each other. Mrs. Garrison accuses Craig and Kenny of assault. Finally, Kenny's dad is a homophobic hick. Rated M for lemon by someone who probably has never done anything remotely romantic. Crenny Style
1. Chapter 1

A.N.: _this has my fav couples in it but cartmin is dead so dont expec him to b in here this tale is woven of lies affairs and yaoi_

Poster Note: This was originally found on Quizilla (stories/16793808/south-park-yaoi) poorly spelled. This is my corrected version of it. The plot still isn't that good and should only be read for lulz. P.O.V. changes many time each chapter. Some disturbing words such as "faggot" are used by Kenny's dad for dramatic purposes as well as some disturbing lemon.

Imaginary Voice Cast (by order of actor/actress appearance):

Trina as Kenny McCormick (Replacing Matt Stone)

Trey Parker as Stan Marsh, Mrs. Garrison

Matt Stone as Kyle Broflovski

Remy Ma as Craig Tucker (Replacing Matt Stone)

Sarah Palin as Principal Victoria (Replacing April Stewart)

John Cena as Stewart McCormick a.k.a. Kenny's Dad (Replacing Matt Stone)

Kenny P.O.V.

_Dear Journal,_

_It has been 2 months since that fat asshole Eric Cartman's death. The whole town is actually better than it was when he was around because he was a sociopath and a hate-monger. I always died back then but now I only die occasionally. I always knew he played some part in my deaths; but now that he's been gone for a while, strange things have been happening. Kyle and Stan are sneaking around a lot so now I mostly hang out with Craig and he actually isn't that bad. I taught him a few of my habits and now he dresses more in black, listens to rock, and sneaks out to go with me to the movies. I'm so proud! The only thing wrong is now I think porn is boring except the gay porn I found at Stan's house. But anyway, we benefit from each other. I'm glad I got to Craig when I did cause he was getting beat up hard in gym class and couldn't defend himself. Now however, we smoke weed behind the bleachers before kicking those bullies asses. Senior year is gonna rock!_

_All my love,_

_Kenny_

Craig was advancing towards me while I sat at the bus stop. Stan and Kyle were surprisingly there even though Stan usually drives Kyle to school in his Ford F150 pick-up. Craig got to me first though and he looked confused and sweaty. Strange, it's 30 degrees. Does he have a fever? I hope he doesn't fall! I grabbed his sweaty, ungloved hands. "Where are your gloves Craig?", I asked him.

He just stared at me. "My dumb ass mom caught me trying to go over to your house and took them. What a snobby bitch.", he withdrew his hand from mine and stared down the road. I took off my gloves and handed them to him so his hands wouldn't suffer frostbite. Stan and Kyle then approached us.

Stan P.O.V.

Kyle looked better now that we'd showered after our night of kinky sexual activities but he still looked tired. Well that and nostalgic, I could see why. This was just like old times except that Cartman is dead and Craig sorta replaced him. Kenny and Craig looked quite different. Kenny started wearing regular jackets, when he started hanging with Craig, and his trademark muffle was gone. Both were dressed in black and red. Kenny's hair was dyed black on two edges with a naturally blonde streak in the middle extending down. Craig looked tougher. His hair was a dark purple and he had slightly more muscles. They both had piercing blue eyes. I was holding.

Kyle's hand and Kenny was holding Craig's hand. Kenny was the first to speak."Hey hermits.", he greeted. Kyle was confused. "What do you mean?" he asked. Kenny responded, a little annoyed "None of us ever hang any more and you're sneaking off with each other behind my back. By the way Stan, where's your car?" I replied with ease."Brokedown." Craig was staring in the sky as the sun was rising, he looked sad as if he'd wished the night would never end. I wondered what they were up to.

When the bus pulled up, both him and Kenny walked in still holding hands and they sat in the back. Kyle chose to sit across from them since it was either that or next to Wendy who had gotten fat after overeating so she'd forget her boyfriend's death. As the bus drove off to school, I noticed that both Kyle and Kenny fell asleep. Kenny was on the aisle side and had his head resting on Craig who was blushing. I was confused on why he was that embarrassed.

Craig P.O.V.

Last night, I had the weirdest dream. It was that Kenny and I were dating. I've been trying to put it out of my head but he isn't helping by being so kind. I'm afraid I'm going to get a hard-on with his head on my shoulder and his soft black hair with that adorable blonde streak tickeling my face. Kenny looked so peaceful while he was staring at me the entire ride because he had nothing to do with Kyle asleep. I tapped K4nny on the nose when we got to school and that woke him up. He sat up and gave me my backpack as we walked in the school.


	2. Chapter 2

Warning: More O.O.C. moments in this chapter and a lot of sex. The lady who wrote this chapter still can't write any better from the first chapter and you can see the original story there.

Kyle P.O.V.

It had to be murder. At first one might think of suicide; since Bebe had been hung with one of her purple belts. However, bruises and scratches were also on her body. Binding bandages that I had seen on the internet for cosplay were wrapped around Bebe's stomach. It was disgusting. Stan put an arm around me and steered me away from the scene. Before we left though, I saw Kenny and Craig run to the bathroom.

Kenny P.O.V.

I ran to the toilet as fast as i could. The sight was sickening. Who could have done such a thing? In my fright, I put my head in the toilet bowl. Craig came in a few minutes later and gave me a napkin to wipe my self with. He then suddenly lifted my chin and kissed me. I paused for a second; confused on what he was doing. To show me, he lifted me on to the sink and had me bend over. I then decided he wanted sexual intercourse. Even though I'm not as addicted to sex as I once was, I still get horny on occasion and in that moment, sex seemed like the perfect way to forget about what was happening. I wrapped my legs around him to pull him closer and his hands tangled in my hair. I had one hand on his manly abs and the other on his growing erection. Craig found the sweet spot on my neck (the closest thing I have to a G-Spot) which he suckled gently until I moaned. Unfortunately, Mrs. Garrison walked in just then; right before I was about to start giving Craig a B.J.

Stan P.O.V.:

I led Kyle to the swings that adjoined our school. We had sex until we heard yelling across the field behind the dumpster. I picked him off gently so as not to get his hair caught in the chains of the swing. We both ran to the source of the yelling and hoped not to see anything bad in the meanwhile.

Craig P.O.V.:

Mrs. Garrison was yelling us out for what we had just done. It was stupid stuff that I didn't really care about. Kenny on the other hand was fighting back like he was on Maury. I didn't want to hear it so I decided to say something that I hoped would get Garrison to leave. "You're just jealous because your fuck buddy, stripper whore left you after you had the sex change and that's made you hate love completely!" Garrison stared at me for a long moment before running off crying. I flicked her off out of habit. "That bitch will never find love. You have been such a nice person to me. I thought I was a sociopath who could never care for someone else but you've showed me that I was wrong." I said, desperately trying to sound eloquent. Kenny looked confused for a few seconds at what I just said but soon responded "What we got is something special that I never want to end! Thanks for being someone I can confide in and likes me for myself." Of course someone had to interrupt our business again. Stan and Kyle came in holding hands and looked shocked. I don't know if that's because they see what we're doing or they think we'll believe that they're gay. That doesn't sound so farfetched though knowing how overprotective Stan is of Kyle. Kenny of course, immediately went after them. "Don't you two start something! I've seen you two in the old movie theater, holding hands and cuddling with each other. Everyone knows something is up. Even though you both think you're firmly in the closet, everyone can tell. Just admit it already!" He grabbed my hand and steered me out of the school. "Wanna go get something to eat? I am so disgusted that Stan and Kyle feel that they have to act shocked when they're doing the same thing." I decided to get Kenny off the topic by telling him that I wanted to go to Shakey's Pizza.


End file.
